Murder on Music Row
When a spunky thirty-five-year old Nashville hair stylist finds her ex-boyfriend bludgeoned with his own Grammy Award, she enlists an entourage of eclectic friends to untangle the clues to find his killer. MURDER ON MUSIC ROW is a cozy mystery, complete at 81,000 words.
Nan Macomb works her cut-and-color magic in her tiny home salon while gabby clients keep her apprised of the Music City’s latest ‘hair-raising’ gossip. Bombarded by one too many anecdotes about her lover’s cheating heart (and other body parts) she barges into his office only to find him out cold. She moves the Grammy, leaving her fingerprints all over the heavy statuette and becomes a murder suspect when he dies. Her friends rally determined to salvage her career, preserve her reputation, and maybe even solve the crime. If these resourceful women can't foil inept kidnappers, untangle an elaborate embezzlement scheme, and find the solution to an encrypted message, Nan's future might include inmate makeovers—if scissors are permitted in prison.
A member of Mystery Writers of America and Sisters in Crime, I live in metropolitan Nashville, Tennessee.
Thank you for your time and consideration.
This is a pretty good query, and I bet it gets requests as is. I like the touches of humor throughout. I do think it can be ratcheted up just a bit in this format, though, and given just a tad more room to sprawl in another.
First, though, I have two questions:
- P1 calls the victim her ex-boyfriend, but P2 calls him her lover. Is he an ex or a current?
- I'm confused about who all are trying to solve the crime. If Nan's a suspect, has she been charged and is she in jail and it's her friends trying to solve the crime? Or is Nan still out and she's helping her friends? It's not crystal clear for me.
- Since this is a cozy, I'm assuming your "entourage of eclectic friends" are mainly the women who frequent Nan's hair salon. Marketability-wise, I think going with a tight theme here rather "eclectic friends" might gain you some advantage. Maybe "her cadre of salon clients" or "ecclectic clientele" to tie them together and tie them to a cozy theme?
- "Apprised of" sounds a bit too sophisticated. Maybe "up to date on"
- Maybe "her clients rally"
- "If scissors are permitted" doesn't quite cut it for me (yes, bad pun). I think it's the "if" clause here throwing me since it seems this is an authorial sentence. Maybe something more along the lines of "...Nan's next makeover might just be her cellmate's."